Not this bacon...
Maybe I should back up a little bit. On our farm we artificially inseminate (breed) our cows with bull semen that we buy from a semen dealer. Yes, they really have those! Today I used 7HO10502, also known as Touchdown Planet Bacon-ET. With a name like that at least he doesn't have to introduce himself very often!
The benefits of using artificial insemination (A.I.) is that we can use a wide variety of bulls to better our herd without having to keep a bull on sight that might be a danger to us. We can select them based on price, breed, milk production, milk compostion, physical features, and many more things.
Here is a partial pic of Bacon's attributes.