Silo Skies Is Moving!

In case you missed the most recent Udder Side post from the cows, I have a new blog. Like most things I've done on the internet, I decided to start a new blog on Wordpress based on a whim. I think it was earlier this year when I was part of a blogging forum when the question of Blogger vs Wordpress came up. That was when the seed was planted.

I've been jealous of some Wordpress blogs for a good while and tried to incorporate what I saw here. In the meantime, I also felt that, like Fonzie, I might've jumped the shark a couple of times on my Udder Side blog.

Fonzie, jumping the shark on Happy Days, full scene

I wouldn't say the well is dry on creating posts on secret agent cows, but doing a weekly or even bi-monthly one has gotten very difficult to do without repeating past success. The plan is for the cows to go on and guest post on my new Farmer Bright blog, and they have already begun with their comments on the new Star Wars movie.

I started the blog with a thirty-day challenge and have continued to post often. I hope you'll enjoy the new content and new layout by the same old farmer. If you enjoy getting the newest post in your email that option is available on the new blog, too. So, sign up, please!

Thank you for reading the last five years, and I hope that you continue reading on the new blog for years to come.

Harvest and Halloween

There is a decided lack of pumpkin spice lattes or harvest craft beers at our house. Our sparse fall decorations include the sum of two jack o' lanterns, but neither have been cut and gutted or even given magic marker eyes, nose, and mouth. Are they even jack o' lanterns at this point? More like jacks on their way to execution, perhaps.

Harvesting is still taking place on the farm. Corn silage, that is. Two weeks of heavy and then on off rain got us behind for waiting on muddy fields to dry. A nice crop, albeit a little drier than we'd like, is filling the silos. 

My munchkins are literally dying for next week to arrive and are making last minute costume decisions. Except for the youngest, who decided months ago to be a skeleton. 

The cows are already in the Halloween spirit. I just hope they don't expect candy.

We need an Uder App

What is one of the most common problems that strikes terror in homes all over the world? Imagine you just called the kids down to eat and you've poured their cereal in the bowls for breakfast and it hits you!

That's right!

"We're our of milk!"

In the miracle like technological world we live in you ask can this terrible problem be prevented? The answer is indeed, yes. Smartphones are ubiquitous and with the advent of the ride service Uber I think we need a milk delivery service. Lets call it Uder.

Launch the app on your phone and select how many gallons of milk you need. You'd be able to select from delicious full fat (technically only 3.5%) to skim and anything in between. Plus chocolate or regular. Maybe in the future you could even add more dairy choices like creamers and yogurts, but never, never offer any fake dairy product that doesn't come from an udder. If you're looking for nuts then go shake a tree or something.

Want an easy way to make money, dinero, or moo-lah? Then you could consider applying to be an Uder Driver. You'd be the one stopping by the store to pick up some delicious milk for whoever orders it. Being able to make people happy and make money at the same time is hard to fathom, but is a perfect description of an Uder Driver.

While How To Make Apps For Dummies may be heavy reading for me, maybe it isn't for you! Make this app happen and don't forget to give me some credit, and by credit I mean I need a cut of the revenue. Until then stock up on your favorite dairy products when you go to town. Buy gallons of milk like the weatherman is calling for snow no matter the season and you will never run out.

The Farmer Takes A Vacation

Even farmers get to take a vacation every once in a while. Sometimes we're hard to motivate to leave because we want to keep caring for our cows and getting chores done. We need motivation.

Dairy Farmers Are OCD About Milk Safety

Call us crazy, but dairy farmers are ocd about milk safety. All down the line from when the cow is milked to when the milk leaves the farm the farmers are checking and double checking the safety of the milk.

You'll Get More With Dairy

Letting my oldest, the county June Dairy Month Chairperson, guest post today. Here is her recent essay.

Every morning when I wake up I immediately head to the kitchen for some milk and my favorite cereal, Froot Loops. When I sit down, I look out my window to see the milk truck driving by. In it I know is my family’s milk. The milk truck will take our milk to the processor and then take it to your breakfast table. But how exactly do you get more with milk? I am Catherine Bright,our county's 4-H dairy chairwoman, and this is how you get more with milk.

Milk is a great way to stay healthy. Not only does it possess tons of nutrients, but it also has other health benefits. Did you know that drinking milk can lower the risk of certain types of cancer by 35 percent? Or that consuming milk, or other dairy products, can reduce the risks of cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure in adults and obesity? I mean, one cup of 1 percent milk has the calcium of 10 cups of raw spinach. Moms, trust me on this one, most kids would prefer milk over spinach any day.

Some other nutrients found in milk include protein, phosphorus and magnesium. These keep your bones and teeth strong and healthy and also helps in their development. These are certainly all ways that you can get more with milk.

I am an avid dancer, and after three long dance classes I am extremely tired, hungry and thirsty. So, when I get to the car I am so excited to see a bottle of cold chocolate milk waiting on me.  When I ask my Dad why he got me milk instead of a sports drink or water he tells me that milk has carbohydrates, proteins, fluids and electrolytes that you need to stay energized.  “Besides,” he says, “chocolate milk is a way better recovery drink than any ol’ sports drink!”  Even professional athletes include chocolate milk in their workout. They include it because it strengthens their muscles and doesn’t keep them as sore the next day. Milk really is a great way to refuel after a long practice. Trust me, I know.

Milk is something I love and try to drink as much as possible. It has nutrients that strengthen my muscles to better help me dance and work. However, some of the people who need milk the most are unable to get it. There are actually 1.1 million people in Tennessee who are food insecure, and this includes 400,000 children. One item that most families request is milk.

On May 31, the Great American Milk Drive began, and for the rest of June, which is dairy month, each 4-H region of Tennessee will compete to donate milk to these families. You can donate by going to Milk Life and entering in your zip code for the area you would like to donate to. Every donation could help someone else get more with milk.

Milk is a great way to stay fit and healthy, and I think it is delicious. You can most definitely get more out of milk. From the nutrients to the prices, milk cannot be beat.  I know that milk helps to strengthen my muscles, teeth and bones. So, it seems that you really can get more with milk.

Inside Out: What Are Dairy Cows Thinking

The new Pixar movie Inside Out is coming soon and I know my family is looking forward to going to see it.



It imagines our emotions being characters in our heads and how they interact. My first thoughts on dairy cows is that there must be a couple in their heads that do nothing but watch and wait for me to get close to the cow's rear end.

"Is The Farmer in range?"

"He's not in the full splatter zone. Wait!"

"Is he there yet?"

"Getting closer!"

"Now?"

"Now!"

And that's when they press the "go potty" button and my t-shirt and jeans get an instant brown tie-dyed look.

Maybe we can't actually get a view of a cow's brain or have a conversation with her about her feelings, but we can watch her because actions really do speak louder than words. As I write this our cows are all laying in the pasture after the morning milking. Full, content cows taking a nap is a good sign. Most are chewing their cud and simply resting.

As it gets closer to lunch I know they are hungry because they will be lining up at the gate to come in to eat.

There are many things that can frighten the girls from loud noises or "funny" smells (cows have a keen sense of smell) to visitors to the farm. When those incidences occur the cows will often put their noses in the air and raise their ears to figure out what's going on. If they feel threatened they will run. Cow care and cow comfort, therefore, are a top priority on any farm.

Happy, content cows eat and milk well. When cows refuse to eat, go down in milk, or don't go in to be milked at their regular spot in line then we also know something is wrong. Paying attention to the cows and how they act with others and during their normal daily routine is very important if we want to know what they are thinking and therefore how they feel.

Maybe cows can't verbalize it, but how they act is as good as speaking. Of course, there may be good reasons for cows not talking. Dairy cows have been know to be a little sassy!

Super Powered Cows

Should cows have super powers? If they had them would they use them for good or evil?

We had three heifers answer those questions this winter on our farm. They had the ability to jump fences in a single bound. Their leader, who we'll refer to as Zod, would challenge them to leap the fence from their pasture into the adjoining field of ryegrass. Thus the question of "is the grass always greener on the other side" answered. At least for them.

Like the three Kryptonians Superman faced in Superman II and the Man of Steel, these superpowered cows did not use their abilities for the greater good. Eventually we caught them and two saw the error of their ways and pledged to only use their powers for good. Zod, however, did not calm down, nor did she make any agreements.

So we exiled her to the phantom zone.



Ok, so technically we didn't send her into a flying square rotating in space, We did send her to be sold at the stockyard. It was disappointing to see a nice animal leave, but if she could not abide by the rules then she could not stay. Even if she had super powers!

Life Imitates John Steele

Some days I feel as if life is imitating art, instead of the other way around. In my rural detective story, No Signal, John Steele has a hard time solving cases without a good cell phone signal.

I can so relate.

The joys of rural life are plenty: quiet, less traffic, less people, more nature, etc. On the other hand, the tech savvy are usually two, three, or more steps behind their urban counterparts. For example until DSL came to our area we had to invest in satellite internet which my in-laws constantly reminded me was not really high speed compared to their cable internet.

When my wife and I moved, basically across the street, last year AT&T informed us we had moved nodes and switched us from our 2.6mbps stream to .765mbps. OMG. (And I'll try not to use that phrase again. Ever.) That was not even enough to check Gmail with.

There's a sad story about repeaters and boosters that I won't repeat here to get us a little faster.

In the meantime I'm getting closer to the end of the next book, Lucky Spaces. Here's a sneak peak:

“I am so sorry, sir,” she began, “there are rules that we can’t give out personal information like that. I--”

I cut her off quickly as inspiration struck. “Ma’am, let me put the reverend on, maybe you’ll feel more comfortable talking to him. Here’s Reverend McCollister.” And I handed the cell phone over to Gramps. 

At first he tried to refuse it, but I kept thrusting it in his face and mouthed, “Do it! Come on!” 

What would you do to solve a case? There's very little that John Steele wouldn't do. Especially if he can find a good signal.

Donut Drive Through On The Farm

Time To Fetch The Cows

By four a.m. each morning I am driving out to the pasture making sure all the cows have come in to be milked. Yes, I did say four a.m.!

Today I was thinking as I drove the tractor down the lane that what I, we, really need is a drive through Dunkin' Donuts at the end of the lane.

Time To Make The Donuts

It would be nice to grab one of those chocolate coffees and a cream filled donuts, the white kind and not the yellow or the chocolate cream is a dream. Yes, there is a recurring theme of chocolate in my life. Life I think would be perfect. Getting up in the morning would be a joy.

Of course, there could be downsides. I can imagine a long line of cows waiting to get their caffeine fix before being milked. I'd have to hurry them up and then without their mochas and frappes they might get irritable. Then what if the field man from our dairy cooperative came to see us because of high concentrations of caffeine in the milk supply. Could we be fined for that?

 Or maybe.... this could be a new market for milk sort of like that cool, new Fairlife milk. We could market caffeinated milk with all the health benefits of milk and without the chance of darkening your teeth like coffee can.

Addictions

Then there would be my new habit of getting a coffee and donut everyday. Every morning I'd have to get my fix and leave the nice barista/donut-baker a tip. After a while I'd have to have it. My wife might want to know where our money's going. Then there's the problem with the daily donuts and fat, cholesterol, and obesity. 

After careful consideration I think not having a Dunkin' Donuts on the farm is okay, and so is the occasional trip to town.

Dunkin' Donuts photo: By Anthony92931 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Donuts photo by Qfamily

Ode to Ag Day

From the milk in your glass
To the cotton of your shirt.
Somewhere a farmer is working in the dirt,
The mud, or the brow beating sun,
'Til all their work is finally done.

No favor they ask

'Cept their cattle be polite,

That it rain just enough 

And not every night. 

Who but the farmer gambles their all everyday 

'Neath dice ever rolling under Mother Nature's sway?

May the vegans, the meat eaters,
And those in between
All on this day agree:
Somewhere a farmer labors for you and for me.

A Fusion Blogger Panel

Saturday I had the opportunity to do something a little different. I was invited to attend the American Farm Bureau Fusion Conference and participate on a blogger panel. Wow! Honestly it has been a while since my last prepared presentation, but when you get the chance to talk about something you enjoy to an audience that's eager to hear about it, why not?

The other two bloggers on the panel with me were Val Wagner and Katie Pinke. They blog at Wag'n Tales and The Pinke Post.

Katie, Me, and Val

Be honest, be personal, tell your story as it leads you. I think that would sum up much of the advice they had to give. When you gain the trust of your readers then you have made a real connection. Val said that you should always remember the potential of a post to gain steam long after you've written it. Katie shared how she used photos in her posts to bring readers in.

My advice was to never be boring, vary your posts, and to be social. And a good photo never hurts!

@Farmerbright did a blog titled "Fifty Shades of Hay" to hook in an audience, so have fun with your blog #FBFusion pic.twitter.com/xydsZDYOlx
— Kevin Hensley (@KevinHensley) February 14, 2015

 I also got to meet some other great folks there as well. AFBF President Bob Stallman was in the hallway before our panel and spent a few moments talking with my wife and I. Meeting some of my "imaginary friends," as my wife likes to put it, in real life was nice, too.

Of course my highlight was getting to meet Janice in real life.

So excited to finally meet @farmerbright! This is definitely the highlight of #FBFusion! Eat your heart out! pic.twitter.com/Pc5qw3JBQO
— Janice Person (@JPlovesCOTTON) February 14, 2015

She's one of the first people I met on social media and a blogger that I've learned so much from.

A big thanks from me to everyone that came to our breakout panel and to the wonderful AFBF staff that made everything perfect.

Dairy Farmers And Bull Calves

This the last two weeks I've had some "interesting," for lack of a better word, comments on Twitter. I'm not the only one, either, as Heim Dairy's apt put Farmers Are People blog post states.

One of the "facts" that I got hit with was that dairy farmers kill every bull calf that is born. I can't understand why anyone would draw that conclusion. This would be like flushing money down the toilet.

Don't Be Afraid of the Milk Truths #MilkTruth

Parade magazine ran an article called What Are You Afraid Of which reminds us that there are real things to worry about like the flu instead of ebola, or not getting enough fiber in your diet instead of whether something is gluten free. They even recommended not worrying about zombies.

Preparing For The Cold On The Dairy

With an upcoming cold spell coming we are trying to get things ready for ourselves and the cows. While it won't be as bad as last year's Polar Vortex, it still isn't anything we are looking forward to.

One of our biggest concerns is that the silo unloaders and the conveyors might freeze. We've purchased some large, high quality hay bales and have them ready to feed in case that happens.

While we do keep our baby calves in the calf barn they will appreciate more straw bedding when the temp's drop. We may also feed them more milk to keep their energy levels up.

Of course the cows are not the only creatures on the farm that need to stay warm. Don't forget the farmers! This week we purchased a new forced air heater to put in the dairy barn to keep us warm while milking and to thaw out any frozen pipes.

Unfortunately this means we'll be replacing our old one that plays the first note of the Star Wars theme when it comes on. Don't believe me? Give it a listen.


Winter weather we are ready as we'll ever be!

Hunting For The New Year

Moments before I took this photo Fred contentedly sat on the post warming himself in the sunshine. As I clicked the shutter he dove for a mouse on the ground.

Vaccinating Cows

Getting vaccinated is not something reserved for humans. All of our cows and calves also get vaccinated and have their booster shots to make sure their immunity stays current. Keeping our cows healthy is good for them and good for us.

You're Sixteen, You're Beautiful, and You're Vaccinated

Sweet Sixteen

Our most recent heifer that calved and entered the milking herd is #16. Previously she was only identified by her ear tag, but now she has a "big" number, also. The big blue number is the one we will now use for her record keeping. We escorted her into the headchute to restrain her for her safety as well as ours.

She received a vaccination to aid in the prevention of diseases caused by infectious bovine rhinotracheitis (IBR), bovine virus diarrhea (BVD types 1 & 2), parainfluenza 3 (PI3), and bovine respiratory syncytial (BRSV) viruses, Leptospira pomona, L. hardjo, L. grippotyphosa, L. canicola, and L. icterohaemorrhagiae. That's ten in one dose! My children might wish their pediatrician could be so efficient.

Also, we poured on her back a liquid dewormer that will prevent internal and external parasites. After that she was free to go back to eating and relaxing until the next milking.

Our calves are vaccinated when they are a few months old and wormed when they are ready to go out on pasture. They will receive regular boosters for the rest of their time on the farm.

Now, if only I could convince my wife to get vaccinated for her flu shot this year.....

Cows In Space

I opened the gate and called to the cows in the pasture. It was time for them to come in and eat lunch. Most of them stood up and took a few steps. Thinking they were on their way I proceeded to feed a group of calves that were in a nearby barn.

The cows, however, didn't move. They stood silently. Were they doing some kind of protest? Were they pondering which Christmas special to watch on tv? I noticed their ears and eyes pointed to the heavens and it was obvious what they were doing. Cows, as you know, have an excellent sense of smell and hearing. What they had to be doing was "sensing" one of NASA's new spaceships, Orion, circling the globe.  

The spaceship was unmanned for this trip, but one of the future goals of the new craft is a trip to Mars. Of course, when the astronauts are on board they will definitely need some milk. What are their options? As impractical as it is, the first choice is to take a real cow with them.

Monkeys and rats have made the trip so why not our bovine friends? While one little girl did take a baby calf into her house to snuggle with, a cow in space does bring its own issues. Cows need room to move, lots of food to eat, and let us not forget about waste. Then you have the issue with the milk. Raw milk for the astronauts? No. The last thing you need is a group of astronauts getting sick from an E. coli outbreak or having renal problems.  They would need to pasteurize the milk. More equipment and more work for them. We might not be ready for a cow in space.

As a kid I remember the astronauts drank Tang.


I also remember that it was the yuckiest thing I had ever drunk at the time and if that was what it took to become an astronaut then there was no point in me thinking about becoming one. Thanks but no thanks and pass the milk, please.

Due to it's perishable quality milk might not have an option for early astronauts, but today you definitely have more options for your dairy cravings. Ultra High Temperature pasteurizing allows milk to have a long shelf life. You can find conventional milk as well as organic milk on the shelf like this.

Via milkunleashed.com

Coming soon nationwide is a product called Fairlife Milk which uses a new version of UHT and has a unique twist on milk's inherently good properties by increasing the protein and calcium while lowering the sugar content. Perhaps the biggest impact it will make is that it is lactose free making it a perfect choice for those with inherent lactose allergies. Does it taste delicious? I don't know, but I can't wait to try it.

It's National Chocolate Milk Day tomorrow. Make sure you share a glass of @Fairlife Chocolate Milk with a friend! pic.twitter.com/3dSARTufGh
— fairlife (@fairlife) September 26, 2014

Cows in space? Maybe not yet. Milk in space? You betcha! All systems are go!

Football To Farming

If you are looking for another way that the internet can change lives then you can look no further than former NFL player Jason Brown. You see, after quitting football he did research on YouTube to become a farmer.



You can find out how to do thousands of things on the internet. In the movie The Next Three Days, starring Russel Crowe, the main character learned how to make a bump key for opening doors and other less than scrupulous skills by also watching YouTube videos.

I go to YouTube for various reasons. I want to listen to a particular song. I want to find out how to do something simple which in one case I ended up being schooled by a prepubescent boy on how to skin my daughter's Mindcraft game characters. I've posted several videos myself, too.

What have watched and learned on YouTube? Have you learned enough to want to make a major career change like Jason Brown? Or are you still watching funny cat videos?

Pebble Smartwatch For The Farm?

For a while now I've been looking forward to getting an iWatch, or as it ended up being called, an Apple Watch.

Reserved for Apple Watch

When the Apple Watch was actually shown this month, I ended up being underwhelmed. The more I thought about it the more I realized that even if I wanted to spend close to $400 on a watch, the Apple Watch couldn't survive life on the farm.

Big, bulky, and expensive. That's a good description for a tractor, not a watch.

I decided to reevaluate why I wanted a smartwatch to begin with. Pulling my iPhone out of my pocket to check to see if I had a call, message, or notification has started to get old. Often, I'm on a loud tractor or around mooing calves and don't notice the rings, beeps, or chirps. When I've been expecting a call I've even carried my phone in my hand while I worked to keep me from missing it. That's not always safe for it or me. With the onset of winter and extra layers of coats and gloves keeping abreast of those messages and notifications will be darn near impossible.

Most of the time being late to a conversation or message isn't a problem. However, when my wife texts and I don't respond, well, that's not a great situation to be in.

I realized that I didn't need a full blown computer on my arm. What I really need is something practical. Something that works well. Something that solves my problems. I decided what I really need is a Pebble smart watch.

• The Pebble displays notifications (texts and calls from my wife won't be missed!)
• Is highly water resistant (which is a must for farm life!)
• Readable screen in daytime (I'm always outside)
• Replaceable bands (in case I catch it on something)
• Scratch resistant screen (I'm rough on things)
• Battery lasts for 5-7 days (!)
• Affordable
• Last, but not least, it tells time. 

Can the Pebble survive the farm, the cows, and the chores? Can it deliver on the notifications when I need them most? Dear Pebble, this is your chance to find out. I volunteer to put your watch through the paces in the demanding job of dairy farming. Dusty silos, spraying water, spattering cow manure, greasy tractors, and much, much more. Send me your smartwatch and I will gladly test it out as only a farmer can. If you are interested please contact me here.